Hayate no Gotoku! Ch. 531

You all know my style: I seldom do chapter recaps these days because 1) it is boring and 2) I assume you have already read the chapter before coming for my review. It is likely not the case with this chapter, because an entire week after the chapter is released in Japan, there is still no English scanlations found online. I actually already have my report ready for some time; I have only been waiting for the English pages to come out, but I am afraid that I can wait no more. My style combined with the fact that there is no English version of the chapter means that it is quite possible you would not be able to understand what I am sharing. Either you can visit Jaded Perspectives for synopsis, or you can try to understand what I am trying to say about this chapter. Maybe I should include some synopsis of my own next time…

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Believe it or not, somewhere in the words mentions S and M.

You may have already noticed something very interesting about Risa. Despite that she is apparently not a member of Hayate’s “harem”, she is among those who are most interested in Hayate’s preference of girls. How much of that is out of curiosity, and how much of that is trolling, remains to be seen.

In this chapter, Risa once again questions Hayate, this time on one of the oldest topics of debate: is it better for girls to have a big chest, or a small one. Funny enough, for a series full of different girls, only Nagi and Hinagiku would be considered to have a small chest, while the rest of the girls would range from average to huge. A debate on “small chest vs. big chest”, as such, is essentially a choice between “Nagi and Hinagiku” and “the rest of the world”.

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“Choose between big or small boobs please.”

Taking into account the wishful thinking that Nagi would have her chest upgraded as she hits puberty, the debate then would become “Hinagiku vs. the rest of the world”. So much for the appeal of gigantic boobs. And that is exactly the problem: why should a girl be judged by the size of her boobs at all?

“What are you talking about? Boobs are the most visible sexual characteristics of a girl! If girls are not to be judged by her boobs, then what?” It sounds like a legitimate argument, but if we apply the same logic to the judgement of boys, we have to come to agree that boys should be judged by the size of their – deep breath – dick.

I bet you anything that you do not like to be judged like this.

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“Guy has a dick that is 2mm long.”

You see, we are simply all too happy to make judgement on a criterion which we would be all too unhappy the other way round. This is what we call “double standard”. With this realisation we might finally be able to understand Hinagiku’s wrath when she is judged by the size of her things: if we think that it is nasty when people look down on us because our stick is only an inch long, then Hinagiku should also find it nasty that people look down on her because of her A-size cup. There is “A-Cup Angst” on TV Tropes, and I guess it is only fair if we also have “One-Inch Angst”.

That being said, Risa seems perfectly fine asking Hayate a question which should be offensive to girls. Then again, how much Risa is sincere and how much she is trolling remains to be seen. On the other hand, while Hayate refuses to bite the bait, he gets into another trouble with the “quiz” thrown at him. Unfortunately, the quiz does very little to convince me that Hayate is a decent person.

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“Mister, I’ll make an M out of you…”

It is almost an established point that Hayate is a “sadist”. The problem with this assessment is that he lacks the display of pleasure – let alone sexual pleasure – in hurting other people. To me, it is a mere case that Hayate is an exceptionally nasty person when he decides not to be nice to the others.

Worryingly, it turns out that his nastiness extends to his treatment of girls. Honestly, if he wants nothing to do with the girl he dates other than forcing a kiss, then he is not displaying an awful lot of respect to his potential partner. Once again, let’s consider this the other way round: what would you think if the first thing – or possibly the only thing, for that matter – a girl does to you is sucking your face off?

In any case, Hayate’s answers to the quiz somehow results in Izumi’s rescue, so all is good. What catches the attention of most readers, of course, is the fact that Hayate names Izumi as number 4 when it comes to the chest size of girls he knows. The top three seems simple enough: Athena, Maria and Sakuya, in that order.

What would Hayate’s ranking be in terms of dick length of the male characters in this series?